soon after that last post, my little leo awoke from his nap, obviously unaware of my grumpiness...and had no problems cheering me up. all he needed to do was smile, and i was already on my way. we had a few belly laughs after that, and that ugly feeling started to melt away.
what was interesting was what happened a little while later...
leo and i went for a little walk. and he saw a dump truck he wanted to play with. we live next door to a preschool, and that tempting little dump truck was in sight, but behind their gate. he asked for it...several times...and i explained to him that he couldn't play with it, and why. i reminded him of the couple of toys he had at home that i knew would peak his interest, and then, finally, the brown firetruck won him over. so off we went...back home to get it.
and then we got inside. and he saw the brown firetruck i was talking about.
and it wasn't what he had in mind.
the firetruck that he wanted was the one he saw at the toy store...days ago...in phoenix, arizona...where we were on a road trip...hundreds of miles away...
and the meltdown pursued.
oh, how sad he was. and not in a spoiled way. in a truly, heartfelt, sad way.
he asked, and asked, and signed..."mommy, red wheeeeerrrr, peez!" and, "mommy, lello wheeeeerrr, peez!" (he makes the siren sound for his firetruck word). he was so sincere.
he just wanted. he wanted. that. firetruck.
eventually, he calmed down. (this was after the phone call to my husband to see if he would stop and get a firetruck on his way home from work).
and then leo went on to play with the toys he has. including the brown firetruck.
brian never did get the new firetruck. although, i'm still tempted to get it. but throughout the whole episode, all i could think about was how this little guy felt. he just wanted. and it rocked his world.
and just moments before, i felt the same way. and if i could have, i probably would have cried and screamed like he did.
but then it passed. just like it did for him.
we all have those moments. but what's important, is that it does go away. it very well might return...in fact, it most likely will return. but then, we look around...see what we have...what we love...it's all around us...
and it passes.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
a sinking feeling...
i don't really know what i want to say here.
but i'm feeling down.
what makes me feel worse, is that i start feeling guilty about feeling down.
as if feeling down isn't bad enough already.
and once i'm here, it just spirals. i start thinking about our money woes...our small apartment...my desire to do so many things but not knowing where to begin...
is it just because i want? is that where this feeling comes from?
i want more money? i want a bigger place? i want to create...to write...to have a clean apartment...
maybe that's what it is. but how do i change that?
but i'm feeling down.
what makes me feel worse, is that i start feeling guilty about feeling down.
as if feeling down isn't bad enough already.
and once i'm here, it just spirals. i start thinking about our money woes...our small apartment...my desire to do so many things but not knowing where to begin...
is it just because i want? is that where this feeling comes from?
i want more money? i want a bigger place? i want to create...to write...to have a clean apartment...
maybe that's what it is. but how do i change that?
Sunday, April 18, 2010
where does it come from?
my little guy... how he amazes me everyday.
we sat there, looking out the window for squirrels for quite some time the other day. he does his little sign for squirrel (tapping his fists together...and making a little "munching" sound)...and gets SO excited when one appears. he makes sure that i'm looking, too, so we can enjoy it together.
a little while later, after the squirrel watching had ended, leo runs up to me, shouting...
leo: "mommy! mommy!"
me: "yes?"
leo: "midey, midey!" (his word for mighty bites cereal), as he holds one out that he found, and then "foo! foo!" (for food)
he then does his sign for squirrel again, and i realized he wanted to give the squirrel some food.
and my heart swelled.
my heart swelled because my mind immediately started to imagine the events that led to that little conversation. how did it happen? was he intentionally looking for food for the squirrel? or did he find the mighty bite, and then decide he wanted to give it to the squirrel? either way, his little mind, and his little heart, decided that that piece of food was specifically for the squirrel. how sweet is that?
where does that come from? it's not something that i can teach him, really. it's something that just comes from within. a pure, innocent, kindness... that he doesn't even know is kindness. he just wanted to share...share something he really loves...and was so happy to do it. just because.
*sigh* i adore him.
we sat there, looking out the window for squirrels for quite some time the other day. he does his little sign for squirrel (tapping his fists together...and making a little "munching" sound)...and gets SO excited when one appears. he makes sure that i'm looking, too, so we can enjoy it together.
a little while later, after the squirrel watching had ended, leo runs up to me, shouting...
leo: "mommy! mommy!"
me: "yes?"
leo: "midey, midey!" (his word for mighty bites cereal), as he holds one out that he found, and then "foo! foo!" (for food)
he then does his sign for squirrel again, and i realized he wanted to give the squirrel some food.
and my heart swelled.
my heart swelled because my mind immediately started to imagine the events that led to that little conversation. how did it happen? was he intentionally looking for food for the squirrel? or did he find the mighty bite, and then decide he wanted to give it to the squirrel? either way, his little mind, and his little heart, decided that that piece of food was specifically for the squirrel. how sweet is that?
where does that come from? it's not something that i can teach him, really. it's something that just comes from within. a pure, innocent, kindness... that he doesn't even know is kindness. he just wanted to share...share something he really loves...and was so happy to do it. just because.
*sigh* i adore him.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
thank you, jenny
if you're visiting from jenny's site, southern institute for domestic arts and crafts, welcome! i'm so happy to have you visit :)
if not, please head over to her blog...it's absolutely wonderful. such beautiful writing, gorgeous pictures, and what i like the most...her honesty.
jenny and i recently "met" through the world of blogging, and she was kind enough to share leo's birth story on her blog. if you don't already know this, i LOVE telling leo's birth story! so when she asked me to share it on her blog, i couldn't be more excited!
thank you so much, jenny, for having me as a guest. i can't tell you how honored i am to be on your blog! your blog is inspirational...thoughtful...creative...
and i am humbled by your invitation.
thank you.
if not, please head over to her blog...it's absolutely wonderful. such beautiful writing, gorgeous pictures, and what i like the most...her honesty.
jenny and i recently "met" through the world of blogging, and she was kind enough to share leo's birth story on her blog. if you don't already know this, i LOVE telling leo's birth story! so when she asked me to share it on her blog, i couldn't be more excited!
thank you so much, jenny, for having me as a guest. i can't tell you how honored i am to be on your blog! your blog is inspirational...thoughtful...creative...
and i am humbled by your invitation.
thank you.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
little kiddos like...
i've been thinking about these for a few weeks...and finally got to them. i think they're just the beginning of a series...
things that little kiddos like.
so far...keys, vacuum, light switch, and broom.
i'm thinking if you don't have kids, some of these things might sound strange. i honestly had no idea, before leo, how many kids like brooms. really like brooms. our floor is often spotless due to the fact that leo demands it to be swept! and he has his own little broom that he helps with, too. and light switches? simply fascinating!
so i figured, why not put them on a shirt? it couldn't hurt the dressing process, that's for sure. in fact, i had leo model them for me, and i've never taken four different shirts on and off so easily before. especially the broom one!
they'll be up on my etsy site momentarily...
things that little kiddos like.
so far...keys, vacuum, light switch, and broom.
i'm thinking if you don't have kids, some of these things might sound strange. i honestly had no idea, before leo, how many kids like brooms. really like brooms. our floor is often spotless due to the fact that leo demands it to be swept! and he has his own little broom that he helps with, too. and light switches? simply fascinating!
so i figured, why not put them on a shirt? it couldn't hurt the dressing process, that's for sure. in fact, i had leo model them for me, and i've never taken four different shirts on and off so easily before. especially the broom one!
they'll be up on my etsy site momentarily...
Monday, April 12, 2010
a hat-making kick...
at some point after leo was born, i think for his first christmas...my sister made him an adorable hat. she made it with all recycled fabrics, and it's the cutest hat in the world. leo's been wearing it since it was way too big for him, and still wears it now. i've got countless compliments on it...almost every time he wears it.
a couple weeks ago, i couldn't find it. i got that hot, icky feeling inside when i realized it wasn't in the usual places. (although, as my husband will attest, i have a habit of looking in the same places over and over again when i "lose" something, and then immediately surrendering to the worst possibilities...i threw it out...i left it on the roof of the car...it spontaneously combusted...). regardless, i couldn't find it. and i was BUMMED. so i decided to make him a new one.
inspired by my sister's creation, i did the same thing and used all recycled fabrics. i used the bottom of a t-shirt, so i wouldn't have to do the hem. and then decided on a rocket design, since leo has been into rockets lately.
once i finished it, it felt gooood. i love when that happens. and leo was pretty excited to have a rocket hat, especially since it's brown. so i kept going...
i've had some old sweaters that i felted a long time ago, just sitting in the closet, and figured they would be perfect! so i got to cutting, and made three more! i can't let go of the orange one, so that's a keeper for leo. but the other two will be on my etsy shop as soon as i get around to taking pictures of them (also why there aren't pictures on here, either!).
so, thank you, cheb, for the inspiration. i love having a big sister like you :)
best part about it...in the middle of all the sewing, i decided to look in my diaper bag one last time...
and there it was. the tree hat was found :)
a couple weeks ago, i couldn't find it. i got that hot, icky feeling inside when i realized it wasn't in the usual places. (although, as my husband will attest, i have a habit of looking in the same places over and over again when i "lose" something, and then immediately surrendering to the worst possibilities...i threw it out...i left it on the roof of the car...it spontaneously combusted...). regardless, i couldn't find it. and i was BUMMED. so i decided to make him a new one.
inspired by my sister's creation, i did the same thing and used all recycled fabrics. i used the bottom of a t-shirt, so i wouldn't have to do the hem. and then decided on a rocket design, since leo has been into rockets lately.
once i finished it, it felt gooood. i love when that happens. and leo was pretty excited to have a rocket hat, especially since it's brown. so i kept going...
i've had some old sweaters that i felted a long time ago, just sitting in the closet, and figured they would be perfect! so i got to cutting, and made three more! i can't let go of the orange one, so that's a keeper for leo. but the other two will be on my etsy shop as soon as i get around to taking pictures of them (also why there aren't pictures on here, either!).
so, thank you, cheb, for the inspiration. i love having a big sister like you :)
best part about it...in the middle of all the sewing, i decided to look in my diaper bag one last time...
and there it was. the tree hat was found :)
Friday, April 9, 2010
this day was needed...
it was a busy week.
so today, our plan...was no plan. and it was a great one.
we stayed in our pajamas nice and late. nibbled on some cereal while we made blue playdoh.
went for a nice bike ride to see the "digger" that's been knocking down a building a few blocks away. leo couldn't stop talking about it the whole way there..."DIG! DIG!" got back on the bike and rode for awhile.
and then, naptime. and then, even better, mac & cheese time on the stoop.
afterwards, we took a stroll on our own time. no place to be. just where we were.
found a puff...
checked out a couple of spikey balls...
and discovered a new way to ride in the stroller...
boy, was this day needed.
so today, our plan...was no plan. and it was a great one.
we stayed in our pajamas nice and late. nibbled on some cereal while we made blue playdoh.
went for a nice bike ride to see the "digger" that's been knocking down a building a few blocks away. leo couldn't stop talking about it the whole way there..."DIG! DIG!" got back on the bike and rode for awhile.
and then, naptime. and then, even better, mac & cheese time on the stoop.
afterwards, we took a stroll on our own time. no place to be. just where we were.
found a puff...
checked out a couple of spikey balls...
and discovered a new way to ride in the stroller...
boy, was this day needed.
my new lady viking...
oooooo...just look at her. so pretty. so quiet. sooooo dreamy.
it was time. my last machine lived its life. in fact, it lived several lives. considering that i bought it for $50 on craigslist, i really got a LOT out of it.
so, i bought this beauty. i wanted something simple. something without a lot of bells and whistles. i didn't want anything electronic. just a few stitches, a free arm, the ability to do a free motion stitch. and really, that was about it.
and this is what i found. the viking emerald 116. i honestly can't believe the difference. seriously. it's SO much easier to sew! any buyer's remorse i had vanished the first time i made something with it. actually, any buyer's remorse i had vanished the minute i used the needle threader! i wasn't looking for that feature by any means. in fact, i always thought...eh, i can thread my own needles...who needs a needle threader...honestly. and boy, oh, boy, i had no idea what i was missing. just that one simple step...it's actually pleasant to thread the needle. pleasant, i say!
such a relief to have a new machine.
and leo loved the box :)
it was time. my last machine lived its life. in fact, it lived several lives. considering that i bought it for $50 on craigslist, i really got a LOT out of it.
so, i bought this beauty. i wanted something simple. something without a lot of bells and whistles. i didn't want anything electronic. just a few stitches, a free arm, the ability to do a free motion stitch. and really, that was about it.
and this is what i found. the viking emerald 116. i honestly can't believe the difference. seriously. it's SO much easier to sew! any buyer's remorse i had vanished the first time i made something with it. actually, any buyer's remorse i had vanished the minute i used the needle threader! i wasn't looking for that feature by any means. in fact, i always thought...eh, i can thread my own needles...who needs a needle threader...honestly. and boy, oh, boy, i had no idea what i was missing. just that one simple step...it's actually pleasant to thread the needle. pleasant, i say!
such a relief to have a new machine.
and leo loved the box :)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
an easter shake...
if it's not hard enough being away from family every day, holidays make it even worse. it's hard. really hard. especially now that leo's getting a little older. doing more things. understanding more. becoming a little boy. and it's just hard knowing our families are so far away through it all. and he's so far from them.
we have been very lucky, though, to make some good friends. some very good friends.
our easter was filled with a very scrumptious breakfast (courtesy of brian), some good friends, and some easter-y activities.
and an earthquake to top it all off.
we have been very lucky, though, to make some good friends. some very good friends.
our easter was filled with a very scrumptious breakfast (courtesy of brian), some good friends, and some easter-y activities.
and an earthquake to top it all off.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
sweet overload...
what can i say? doesn't the picture say it all?
we've been meaning to make some ice cream sandwiches for awhile now. we make chocolate chip cookies a lot, and it was the next step in our dessert endeavors. and boy, am i glad we did. check out this little slice o' heaven...
we've been meaning to make some ice cream sandwiches for awhile now. we make chocolate chip cookies a lot, and it was the next step in our dessert endeavors. and boy, am i glad we did. check out this little slice o' heaven...
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