reflection...

when i'm feeling sad, or angry, or frustrated...

the last thing i want to hear is "it's okay."  or "calm down."

i want someone to acknowledge how i feel.  i want to hear "yes!  you're sad!  what just happened really sucks, and you're pretty sad about it."  i'd also love for someone to just sit there with me until i felt better about it all.  literally.  hold my hand, look into my eyes, and just wait.  wait until i'm ready to move on. 

yet, so often, when our children are melting down, the first thing we say is "it's okay..."  or "calm down..."

when, it can be so much more helpful to simply acknowledge what they're feeling.  not even why they're feeling that way... just what they are feeling. 

today, leo had a pretty rough time when he wanted a toy from the garage, but just couldn't settle on what toy to put away from inside first (we kind of have a one-for-one system).  he hemmed and hawed, and just couldn't make a decision.  i gave him a lot of time, and a lot of chances, and eventually had to close the garage.  so no toy trade happened.  and the meltdown ensued.

at first, i was frustrated.  and then, i sat with him.  gave him a hug.

"you're really sad, huh?" 

"yeah"

"i know.  i can see you're feeling sad."

"i didn't want you to close the garage."

"i know.  i understand you didn't want me to close the garage."

no need for explanation (at this stage of the game...that can come later).  just reflection.  acknowledgment.   understanding.

it's amazing how powerful that can be.  no one being told not to feel a certain way.  it not only seemed to make leo more comfortable, but it also grounded me, and lifted my frustration.  we just sat there for a few minutes on the kitchen floor, and stayed close as he had a good cry.

at one point, after sitting with him for awhile, i told him that if he was still sad, that was fine,  but i was going to do some work now.  i'd give him one more big hug, and then start my work.

and he said "i need somebody".

oof.

so i stayed with him longer.  what was it... a total of 5 minutes?  10 at most?  10 minutes of giving him support... and love... and just my presence.  

and it felt so much better than me pointlessly telling him to stop crying, to stop feeling the way he can't help but feel.

give it a try.  just be there.  in that moment.  no why's.  just because.  and reflect.

an inspiring site...

i can't even stand it. 

i can't stop looking at it. 

this site is amazing!  

it's called mini-eco.  and it's chock full of adorable projects to do with kids (and some for us adults, too!).  many of them with materials you have already... in your kitchen... in your craft supplies... it's BRILLIANT!

check out these great ideas...

natural dyes for homemade playdoh...

homemade pavement chalk... 

handmade boats...

bird feeder...

head over to mini eco for some more great ideas (and beautiful pictures, as well!)

traveling letter mat...

as if i didn't have a thousand things to do before we left for our trip, i wanted to make one last thing that was on my mind...

a little traveling letter mat!

with an old green t-shirt for the front, a gray one for the letters & pocket, and that same ol' curtain that's been creeping up for the backing of all of it, i came up with this...

just a little matching activity... with a little pocket to store all the pieces.

i started by measuring out the fabric... each box is about 1 1/2" x 1 1/2 ".  i did a 5 x 6 square grid, so there would be an extra line of boxes along the bottom for some spelling. 

i also added a 1/2" border around the whole thing.  i drew some temporary lines for a guide, and zig zag stitched the boxes.  then i serged around the whole thing.

i've been meaning to sell my old sizzix die cutter for quite some time, but it came in pretty handy for this project.  i used it, along with a set of alphabet die cuts, to cut out letters on freezer paper, and print them onto the green fabric.  for the gray fabric letters, i ironed on some heat and bond lite to the back, ironed it onto the curtain fabric so they would be a little sturdier, did another round of letters with the freezer paper, and then zig zagged around each letter.  and then cut them out.  (for those without a die cutter, i'm thinking a fabric pen and some neat handwriting would be just as well to do all of the letters!  and probably a LOT easier, in fact!)

i did an extra line of yellow zig zag along the bottom of each letter, so leo would know which side was the bottom, especially for the letters that could go either way.

for the pocket... i sort of just cut out a long rectangle, with some extra fabric on the sides, folded it up and sewed it together, and then onto the grid.  if i had to do it again, i think i would've rearranged things so it took up the upper right four squares, because where it is now, when it's open, it blocks the "s" and "t".  live and learn :)

and then, to make it super portable, sewed on a little strap at the top and added some snaps so it could just roll right up.  

and there you have it... learning on the go!

i linked up with creative me monday at the southern institute and sew much ado!